A little thought on Happiness

My friends often laugh when in the car with me because even in the midst of standstill traffic in the heart of the city I’ll always point out the birds flying in the sky.

You see, when life has left me facing shattered dreams, shattered relationships, shattered career prospects, these little things, that may seem insignificant to many people, were all I could focus on…

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Bipolar… Who? Me?!

Firstly, I need to let you all know that the fact that I’m even writing this post, shows how much I have come to terms with my illness.

You see, once upon a time, I would have sprinted out of my doctor’s office at the mere suggestion that I had bipolar. To me, having bipolar was almost worse than a death sentence. In my mind, sufferers lived on a constant pendulum, swinging uncontrollably from mania to depression, barely ever able to leave a psychiatric ward.

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A Letter from Adriana

This letter is featured at the start of my book, ‘Ana: Her Suicide Story’.

Meeting me for the first time, most people would think I’m a pretty normal, if not a tad excitable, thirty one year old. I live a healthy and active lifestyle, I have a good job and I have a wonderful group of family and friends whom I adore.

But I have a very dark secret.

On Sunday 31st July 2011, on a visit to my parent’s home from London, severely depressed, in a crippling psychosis, feeling petrified, alone and desperate; I decided that I couldn’t bear any more torture in the warped hell my sick brain had me believe was reality.

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Suicide – Breaking The Silence

Today, my book ‘Ana: Her Suicide Story’ is released. Based on my own near-fatal suicide attempt in July 2011, it narrates the protagonist’s mental breakdown over six days before she makes a serious attempt on her life.

To this day, I still cannot fathom the person I was just over five years ago. Having not slept in weeks, I was in the grips of severe depression and my life was spiralling out of control. I spent many evenings wandering the streets of London feeling completely lost and with an unshakeable belief that everyone wanted me dead and I had to end it all.

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